It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
