o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
