Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
