I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we're making bets on your personal life
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
