Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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