my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
