what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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