She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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