I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
