woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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