I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
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