I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
