even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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