I am spending my child support on dildos
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
