i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I will be naked everywhere
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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