Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
