Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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