my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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