This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
two words...techno handjob
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
