you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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