I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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