TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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