So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
