I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
