great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
