you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
MIDGETS
????
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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