Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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