I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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