On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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