You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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