I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
