I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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