I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
