Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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