Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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