Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
