she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
