I want to have your abortion
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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