I feel great
I just peed on a car
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
