Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
