Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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