Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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