my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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