Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
