if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
