I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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