but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
where am i from again
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
