I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
