This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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