there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
