FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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