bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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