Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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